Becoming A Proverbs 31 Woman in Today’s World: What I Learned
Let’s be real. The Proverbs 31 woman of the Bible can feel like a high bar. Whenever I read that passage, I think, “Wow… this is a lot.”
As I started looking closer, I realized all the things associated with this seemingly perfect woman isn’t just a list of accolades. She is a woman of deep character, purpose, and godliness. However, she’s not perfect and becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is not out of reach for the women of today.
Some of what you’ll read will also help you to steward your self care (ie hair care) more intentionally. Let’s dive in.
Proverbs 31 In It’s Entirety
After spending some time researching and reflecting on the scriptures, what I found is both inspiring and practical. Let’s first read the entirety of Proverbs 31. Then, we’ll examine the characteristics and responsibilities of a virtuous woman.
31 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:
2 What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows?
3 Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink;
5 Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
7 Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy.
The Virtuous Wife
10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.
She’s Not Just a Good Woman. She’s Godly.
The Proverbs 31 woman is said to be virtuous and trustworthy. She is a wife who is trusted by her husband, and she enriches his life.
Breaking that down, I see this as a woman who would never commit adultery because she’s trustworthy. And, for her to enrich her husband’s life means that she is adding value.
Elsewhere in Proverbs (18:22), it says that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. In Genesis 2:18, the wife is said to be the husband‘s help meet.
So the Proverbs 31 woman is helping her husband. She enriches his life by working alongside him, fulfilling the responsibilities that have been given to her by God as his help mate.
She Plans. She Prepares. She Produces.
In verse 13 of Proverbs 31, it says, “She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.” Then, it goes on to say, “She’s like a merchant ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plans the day’s work for her servant girls.”
This tells us a few things:
- She is a good businesswoman
- She is a planner – she doesn’t allow days to sneak up on her without having a plan in place. This can be applied to planning every aspect of your life (ex: wash day)
- And, because she gets up early, that means she’s also very mindful of time.
The Proverbs 31 woman is also compared to a merchant ship. So, of course, I had to look up what the responsibilities of merchant ships are, and here’s what I found:
- Transporting goods like raw materials, containers, and manufactured products across waterways
- Carrying passengers
- Supporting global trade by enabling import and export
- Ensuring safety, security, and compliance with laws
- Preventing pollution and following environmental guidelines
If the Proverbs 31 woman is being compared to that, it looks like she’s responsible for running a business – possibly a home-based business.
She’s running her home in a way that keeps things moving, making sure the family is safe and that whatever finances come into the household are used in a way that keeps the home running smoothly.
She Invests with Wisdom and Intention
The Proverbs 31 woman is said to be energetic, strong, and a hard worker. “Before she buys a field, she inspects it, and then she plants a vineyard there.”
I look at this as her being very mindful of how she spends money and invests it.
She doesn’t just throw money to the wind. She makes sure that whatever she invests in has a profit. She does that by spending a lot of time, even sometimes late into the night (as it says in verse 18), doing her research. So, we know for a fact she wasn’t a product junkie or a shopaholic.
Many of us ladies fall prey to buying all the things….hair care products specifically (since hair is what we talk about here at Fine Natural Hair and Faith). Yet, to be a Proverbs 31 woman means you are careful to evaluate what you buy before you buy it. Then, and only then do you put the dollars the Lord has allowed to flow through your hands to use.
The Proverbs 31 Woman Is Not Idle
The godly woman described in Proverbs is not associated with idleness. In verse 19, she is said to keep her hands busy.
But, she also has balance. In verse 20 it says she extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. So, she’s also a giver, not just a worker.
Sounds like she’s also mastered the art of work-life balance. Doesn’t it?
It’s not just about what she can do for her household and herself. She also looks out for the needs of others.
She Is Resourceful
In verse 21, it says, “She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads and ensures her family is prepared.” That clearly means she’s resourceful and a provider who thinks ahead.
There’s a balance between being a businesswoman and being a homemaker. She handles both, and her actions reflect positively on her husband. People are clearly aware of who his wife is.
She Has Style with Meaning
“She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.” That stood out to me because in this season of my life I’ve been working on becoming more intentional with how I dress so that my outer appearance is a reflection of my soul and how I want people to see me – a modest woman of God.
Also, purple is the color of royalty. Linen is also a material that has long been associated with value and dignity.
I did a little research and found that linen:
- Is associated with righteousness, purity, and priesthood in the Bible
- Was historically worn by the wealthy
- It symbolized light in ancient Egypt
- Was used in burial rituals
- In the home, it is used for heirlooms and items of elegance
But, what really stood out to me is this…
The Proverbs 31 woman dresses in a way that reflects who she knows she is: a child of God. Her clothing is not just luxury for luxury’s sake. It’s a reflection of her inner character. Her outer appearance is simply pointing back to the worth God has given her.
She Keeps Her Home in Order
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. That says a lot.
To me, that looks like:
- Maintaining a clean home, not just cleaning when company comes
- Keeping things organized so your home can function with ease
- Feeding your family good quality food and not relying on fast food as the norm
- Making sure you have daily routines in place to reduce chaos in your life and your family’s lives
The Proverbs 31 woman has a household that runs like a well-oiled machine because she’s actively paying attention. She is not passive. She’s on watch, and she takes pride in the home God has provided for her.
She Is Spiritually Woke
Unlike the definition of “woke” in today’s culture, verse 25 says she is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.
Could it be because she is such a planner and she pays careful attention to signs and seasons?
Verse 27 supports that. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. She is watchful and she is prayerful.
Her Family Praises Her
Even her husband and children bless her and praise her. How many people’s husbands and children do that in today’s society?
The Proverbs 31 woman is said to be the most virtuous woman in the world. So, while there are other virtuous and capable women, the woman of God is the one who surpasses them all.
I don’t think that being a Proverbs 31 woman is out of reach. The one criterion though….Be a godly woman – one who knows Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord.
In Summary, The Proverbs 31 Woman Is…
- Resourceful
- A planner
- Wise with her finances
- A businesswoman
- A giver
- Hard working and chooses her work carefully
- A woman of compassion
- A good help meet to her husband
- Someone who brings honor to her name and her husband’s
- A homemaker who keeps her household running smoothly
- A woman whose clothing reflects godly character
- Not just virtuous, but godly
So How Can We Be a Proverbs 31 Woman Today?
With the characteristics and traits that identify the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible, you may be wondering how to equate that with being that type of virtuous woman today.
Here are some things to focus on making a priority in your life:
- Be godly. Accept Jesus as your Savior and walk in His character.
- Manage your finances with wisdom and steward the money God has allowed you to manage well:
- Create a budget and life within your means
- Save for expected and unexpected expenses
- invest wisely, avoiding get rich quick schemes
- Be an intentional giver to your church and community
- Give generously. Use your resources to bless others
- Diversify your income. Build multiple streams to provide and give more.
- Plan your days in advance. Don’t wait for life to just happen.
- If you are a wife, support your husband. Reflect godly character in your attitude and actions, showing him respect – in private but especially, in public.
- Dress modesly with dignity. Let your wardrobe reflect your worth and inner character.
- Manage and maintain your home. Keep it clean, organized, and nourishing for your family.
Final Thoughts
The Proverbs 31 woman is not a fairy tale. She’s not perfect, but she’s intentional. She builds her life with care and godliness. Her strength doesn’t come from hustle. It comes from walking closely with the Lord. And, you and I can do the same.
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